A Dark Providence

I know that this blog has been quiet for some time.  Sometimes God's people walk through such dark valleys that it is hard to even know what to begin to say others...the dark is so dark, that you are tempted to not want others to see.  That has been true for our family in the past three weeks.

We have recently discovered some serious struggles and sin in our family that need to be addressed.  Because of that, we are taking at least a 6-month leave of absence from Uganda in order to fly to America and get some significant counseling and help.

Our hearts are broken.  Our kids' hearts are broken.  It's hard to even begin to make sense of it all.  We know that these things did not take God by surprise.  Our only landing place right now is to trust the sovereignty of God and know that he is working all things for our good.

Please pray for us.  We do not see America as home.  For our kids, America is a strange land on the far side of the sea.  This has been a time of chaos and unsettling events that are difficult to make sense of as an adult, let alone a child.

For now, our immediate plan is that we will be in Georgia at my parents, where God has graciously provided a house for us to stay in.  Eric is already there waiting for us to come this Wednesday. (The kids and I fly out Tuesday night) We are still in need of a good mode of transportation.  We have access to a van that we can borrow, but it is not large enough for all of us.

I read this blog post recently,  never imagining that it would soon apply to us.  But yes, we are coming back as broken people right now.  We are having to trust our hearts to our Christian brothers and sisters in America.  We need much prayer, support, and love.

Please pray:
:: Pray for our hearts.  For repentance, truth, and forgiveness.

:: Pray for our kids and ourselves as we transition to America for a while.  Unlike when we go on furlough, we are not mentally or emotionally prepared for this transition.  It came up quickly (we decided to go about 11 days ago and we leave in 2 days) and has been full of turmoil.  The kids and I are going to have some sense of closure here, but nothing close to what we wish it could be.

:: Pray for the church here and the mission.  Pray that God will protect the church and mission from Satan, who will surely try to use this to destroy the gospel work here.

:: Pray for my health and strength.  I am on a high level of steroids to protect my body from going into an Adrenal Crisis due to my Addison's disease.  But even still, I'm struggling physically with all the stress/lack of sleep over the past weeks and the stress that is to come.

Because of the nature of the situation, I won't be posting too much on here, although perhaps I will continue to post about any fun memories in America that God chooses in his grace to give us.

The song that has been on constant repeat in the past couple weeks is What E'er My God Ordains is Right:

What e'er my God ordains is right:
His holy will abideth;
I will be still what e'er He doth,
and follow where He guideth.
He is my God, though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
And so to him, I leave it all.

What e'er my God ordains is right:
He never will deceive me.
He leads me by the proper path;
I know He will not leave me.
I take content, what he hath sent.
His hand can turn my griefs away,
and patiently I wait His day.

What e'er my God ordains is right, 
though now this cup I'm drinking.
May bitter seem to my faint heart, 
I take it all unshrinking.
My God is true each morn anew.
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart, 
and pain and sorrow shall depart.

What e'er my God ordains is right.
Here shall my stand be taken.
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine, 
yet I am not forsaken.
My father's care is round me there.
He holds me that I shall not fall, 
and so to Him, I leave it all.