Seven Years and Now this Call

Today marks 7 years since we first moved to Uganda.  Our "Ugandaversary" has always been a point of celebration, even if only in my heart, simply because every year marked God's faithfulness to us in what was sometimes a difficult post that the Lord had called us to. 

This past Sunday in church we sang the Kristin Getty song "What Grace is Mine?"  The chorus sings,

"So I will go where ever He is calling me.  
I lose my life to find my life in Him  
I give my all to gain the hope that never dies; 
I bow my heart, take up my cross and follow Him." 

Seven years ago, I would have sung this with gusto.  The missional thought of going where ever He called me, stirred in me a sense of purpose and joy as Eric and I boarded the plane with 8 small children in tow.  I was willing to lose my life, to give my all and to take up my cross as I served him in Uganda.

Last Sunday I sat in church in America, with 9 growing children in tow and our home in Uganda so very far away.  Our dream of serving Christ there for many years to come has died a painful, horrible death and the tears flow every day still.  The first time we sang the chorus through, this glorious missional song felt like sandpaper on the open wounds of my heart.

Then the Holy Spirit, the Great Helper, began to prod...

"Am I not the one that has sent you to this new place?"
     "But God, we don't want to be here and not like this!"

"But will you still go where ever I call you? Just like you did 7 years ago?"
     "But God, Uganda seemed to have a purpose, but here all I see is how we failed."

"Will you lose your life in this place because you want to find it in me?"
     "Lord, I was willing to give up so many comforts in Uganda...water, power, safety... but I don't want to lose my life in this way and in this place, it's too much Lord!"

"Are you willing to take up your cross and follow me?"
     "In this place and way, Lord? I don't see anything beautiful about it."
   

But deeper still The Great Helper searched me and tried me, "Well, actually God, if it is you that is doing the calling, then I am willing...a thousand times my answer will be yes...if only you will give me more of yourself.  If you really will fill me with more of you, I'll follow you here.  If I really will find myself in You, I'll lose my life in this painful way.  Lord, I went to Uganda in obedience to your call.  I will now come back from Uganda in obedience to your call.  If you want me here, then in truth, I don't want to be anywhere else.  Lord, it is a big, heavy, rough, burdensome cross that I never in million years wanted to carry.  I don't like how it feels. I wish it would be taken away.  But I'll do it for you."

"God, I believe.  But please, Lord, I beg you... help my unbelief."

A few moments from our week...

Just a few moments from our week:

This is my little friend.  She used to scream every time she saw me.  haha!  I've finally won her heart.

My little kitty that Talitha gifted me but is still quite content to lay mutual claim on, is oh.so.cute!

School continues to march on and is going quite well.  On Friday, I left the table to go make coffee and I told the littles to quiz each other on their spelling words when I was gone.  This is what I came back too, but they had a blast.  haha! 

Our teammates organized a marriage retreat for all the pastors and wives in our presbytery.  I wasn't able to go this year because of school with the kids and really working to not do too much for the sake of my health.  Eric went for a day though and it sounds like they had a great time and that everything went really well.  Pray that this time of teaching and fellowship will bear fruits in the local church.

A little update...

It hasn't quite been a month since I've posted, but almost!  I always hate it when the blog has to be silent for a time.  But it's birthed out of my extra and lately, I haven't had much extra to give.  These past weeks (really since we've arrived in country) have been up and down and up and down with my adrenal insufficiency...a couple weeks of feeling low, followed by a few good days, followed by more weeks of being low.  It's been difficult to regain the stability that I once had. Simple illnesses can knock me off my feet because it aggravates my adrenal insufficiency and it seems that I've had quite a few lately.  Cortisol is your fight or flight hormone, so when your body is called upon to fight an illness, you need to have your normal supply of cortisol that gets you through a normal day, plus extra to fight whatever is bugging your body.  When you rely on medicine for all your cortisol needs, simple illnesses suddenly become a bit more complex. Shortly after my last blog post, it was a small ear infection that took me down for a few days followed by a slow climb back to normal.  We are continuing to pray that God will be gracious to us to pull me up more and allow me to remain at a good place, where these little bumps in the road don't knock me down quite as much.  In the meantime, I am also praying that God will grant me contentment in this trial and to place my hope in him rather than in healing.

Despite this, Eric and I were blessed to have a few days away this past week for our 17th anniversary.  We needed to go to Western Uganda for work related things, so we tacked on a few extra hours to celebrate as well.  Near Fort Portal, Uganda there is a beautiful lodge that overlooks a crater lake.  We spent the night there.  In this picture you can see the lodge from across the lake in the center:

This is looking from the lodge out over the lake.  Eric and I walk/ran the rim of the lake in the morning.  It was so much fun!

After our night out, we drove around the Rwenzori mountains through this valley that empties out into the Rift Valley.  So stunningly beautiful!

While we were over there, we saw Cocoa trees for the first time!  Here is a cocoa pod hanging from the tree.

They found one that was ready to be picked and opened it for us.  So cool!  The flesh is sweet and the pit (or nib) is chalky, but you can taste the chocolate flavor (kind of like dark chocolate...it is bitter too!)  Normally, they ferment the bean, then dry it, then roast it.  The flesh is also often used in things like cocoa butter (in lotions, etc...)

We also had the experience of eating crocodile ribs.  haha!  They taste a bit like chicken only a little tougher...

I was so thankful for our days out.  The kids did a fabulous job while we were gone.  But we sure are glad to be back together again and back to our normal work.