December Photo Project: Day 6

Last night we went to the Georgia College Music Department's Christmas concert.  It was a lovely night.

December Photo Project: Day 5

"For he gives to his beloved sleep." Psalm 127:2

What? It's the end of the day and I haven't taken a picture yet?  Good thing there is a sweet little spirit so preciously tucked under her covers.  When I see her soft slumber, I see the last remnants of childhood wrapped up behind her cute little nose and precious dreaming mind still so filled with wonder.  One can't help but praise the Lord and thank him over and over again for his good gift.

December Photo Project: Day 4

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers...And day by day attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.  And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." Acts 2

Tonight we met with the elders in order to become members at our church here in Georgia.  This is partly done with a heavy heart as our welcome here is also a reminder of our loss in Uganda.  We miss our dear brothers and sisters at New Life Presbyterian Church in Mbale so so much.  But we are so thankful for the believers here who have welcomed us with open arms, encouraged us and supported us.  So we continue to march on living in paradox... the highs and the lows blended together, being crafted into a beautiful picture that as of yet, only God can see.  We put one foot in front of the other and embrace our new life and our new home and we are thankful for those who are reaching out to embrace us.

December Photo Project: Day 3

"Every good and perfect gift is from above." James 1:17

Why not make January's bullet journal page out of Uganda coffee, a truly good and perfect gift?  Especially when the crafting of it includes sitting around the table with kids who are doing homework, coloring and playing games.  It makes for a cozy afternoon.

December Photo Project: Day 2

"All these things my hand has made, and so all these things came to be, declares the Lord." Isaiah 66:2

I'm so thankful the Lord saw fit to create these beautiful beings.  Tonight we colored and did some reading.  They didn't want to give up their science and Bible textbooks or the novel that we had been reading when we switched from homeschooling to going to school.  So sometimes at night we cozy up and read about Mars, worldviews and the Fangs of Dang.  Sprawled out by the tree seemed like a fitting place to get lost in other worlds on this particular evening.

December Photo Project: Day 1

"For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth, and the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind." Isaiah 65:17

"Mama, does that mean when we get to heaven that we'll forget everything that happened to us this year?"

And so began a discussion on holy forgetting.  There will be a day on the new earth that this year may be remembered, but the pain will be forgotten.  The hurt will be gone, but the memory of God's faithfulness will linger sweetly in our hearts into all of eternity. 

All our Christmas things are still not with us, but my parents have graciously let us decorate with their things.  Perched on the tree are soft memories of my own childhood Christmases' past.

A Sacrifice of Thankfulness

We're six months in and things really aren't better yet.  I haven't written much on here because I don't have much new to say.  It still hurts.  It still is hard.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that in some respects it's even harder than 6 months ago simply because nothing has changed like I hoped that it would and I'm being forced to settle in for the long haul.  My new life still feels impossible.  And tears still fall most days.

Today is a day of thanksgiving.  I have so many memories of thanksgivings past that are full of joy and happiness, fellowship and family, love and tender closeness to my dearest ones.  The enemy has shown me, again and again, today how much I have lost.  He has repeatedly whispered in my ear how justified I would be to not participate in this holiday.  And I surely have seen how much my heart wants to say a big huge, "no thank you" to what God's sovereignty has brought.

Sacrifices are painful.  They are costly.  Life would be so much easier without them.   Perhaps the Israelite bringing his best lamb might have wondered some years, is this really necessary?  Does it really help?

Isn't it a wonder that after mentioning pain and loss, the Psalmist puts on a face of determination and says, "I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord." (Psalm 116:17)  Here is the truth that was shining at me today: sometimes life hurts so much that thanksgiving becomes a sacrifice and we have to choose to make it.  It can be painful to wake up in the midst of sorrow and say thank you.  It would be much easier to not.  One might wonder as the holiday marks a painful year like this one: is this really necessary? Does it really help?

Thanksgiving has a way of forcing our eyes to see Jesus.  Like the prayer of St. Patrick who cries, "Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ when I lie down, Christ when I arise..." Thanksgiving forces us to look above, beneath, on our right, on our left, throughout the day and see Christ working on our behalf.  This thanksgiving sacrifice works for our good as it draws our eyes out of our pit and back to our Savior who is working all around us for our good.  Surely this kind of calling out to the Lord will open our hearts to an eternal joy even when there is very little earthly happiness. So yes, it is necessary and it does help.

So by God's grace, we made our green bean casserole, drank our Uganda coffee, carved our turkey, fashioned our pies, sang our hymns and went around the circle giving thanks like we always have.  And you know what?  My heart was soothed a bit.  God's grace has once again brought me to the end of what could have been a very hard day and I can see that he hemmed me in and held me tightly through it.  Thank you, Lord.  You truly are a gracious God.